so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
