Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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