I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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