My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
