Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize