She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
