Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
