The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
