also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
