Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
