Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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