shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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