haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize