just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
