margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's blow job season.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
