talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
