so that wasnt chicken after all
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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