he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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