You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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