absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
