yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize