Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
