the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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