She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
