fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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