he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
