2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
