I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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