Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
