Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize