TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize