I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize