Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
