I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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