I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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