maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
