3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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