I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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