I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
