o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
