just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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