Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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