so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
