i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
