Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
where does the pee come out of this thing
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
