I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
