I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize