good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
smell my finger.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
