I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
