i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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