WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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