Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
