Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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