i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
false alarm, still single
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
