With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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