CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
