I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
