i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize