I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
