dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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