you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
