You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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