My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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