That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
