a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
