thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
