rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize