How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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