How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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