hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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