I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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