idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
