that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
