so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
