quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize