thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
