She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
