im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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