come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Barsexuality is the new black.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
