What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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