i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
