She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize