This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
