Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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